Tucked away behind years of life that have stacked up and blocked out the sun and my old list of dreams and the way I used to take my mat and fall asleep under a mango tree behind grandma's old house in the country is a memory of what I really wanted. This memory flashes to the front of my mind and for a second it seems as fresh and young as it did when I was 8 and the world stretched in front of me--endless and possible, wild, free and so forever.
I'm afraid that years of my life have been frozen in a parade of sameness and routine. I understand that we make our own choices every single moment. Happy or sad. Married or single. Alive or dead. Miserable or content. Succesful or not succesful. Your life choices have nothing, absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.
A world of passion and light. That is what I crave. No schedules or routines that mix politely with the plans of the people in your life who have no consideration for what you need and want. I want to be free...dance naked at midnight with flames of fire or at the break of dawn when the air is fresh and hard. The light is perfect and there are miles of white sand. It is the glorious moment before day surrenders--hands in the air, clouds drifting fast--into the dark eyes of night. I take off my clothes. The music drifts in on the edges of night air, musty,wild, scented with the smell of coconuts. It is never loud, and surely I am the only woman in the world who hears it. I hear it and I begin to dance. I dance until it is as dark as it will ever be and the sky is littered with stars......
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